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Oh, and smell—oil, lavender, or weird herb, hit nose, make brain dance. “Stories We Tell” say, “Memory twist truth,” so maybe I exagerate, but who care? Sexual-massage feel like love, but quick, no wife nagging after, very nice! I say, try it, but find real one, not cheap scam—worth it, trust Borat!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” Everyone starts panicking. I’m trying to herd the kids out, but they’re all like, “Is it a drill?” I’m like, “No, it’s a real-life horror movie!” We finally get outside, and it turns out it was just a malfunction. I’m standing there, heart racing, thinking, “I need a vacation.”

Figure 1. River basins draining to Milano urban area. White rectangles...