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About Rome

Downside? Ghostin’. Hate that shit. You’re textin’, plannin’ round two, then—poof—they’re gone. Rude as hell. Makes me wanna serve ‘em up with fava beans, y’know? And the pics! Clarice, the dick pics—why? Nobody asked for that blurry masterpiece. “El tango de Roxanne” plays in my head every time I see one—dramatic, unhinged, unnecessary.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Piazza della Libertà. Best cappuccino ever! I mean, I’ve had my fair share of coffee, but this one? Pure magic. I was sippin’ it, feelin’ like a king, when suddenly, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my croissant! Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing my breakfast with a feathered thief. I swear, that bird had the audacity of a New Yorker.

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