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So, I tried it once—D’oh!—total mess! Lady’s like, “Relax, Homer,” but I’m all tense, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me. Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ya know? Slippery as hell—oil everywhere! Little fact: they use weird stuff like almond oil, not even donut grease! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all fake and porny, but nah, it’s legit chill. Got me happy—muscles all loose, like after a good nap. But then—D’oh!—she hits a knot, hurts like hell! “That’s a bingo!” I yell, straight outta Inglourious Basterds. She’s confused, I’m laughin’—classic me.

Genital Touch in Massage | Treating Intimate and Erogenous Zones

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After my coffee break, I head back to the woods. I’m determined to find that boar. I’m sneaking around, feeling all stealthy, when I trip over a root. I fall flat on my face. Great. Just great. I’m lying there, covered in dirt, and I can’t help but laugh. “This is what I get for being a huntsman,” I think.

October showcase for Autotex at FIMAST