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So – get this. I’m strollin’. See this chick – WHOA. Fishnets ripped. Heels clickin’. She’s givin’ me the eye. I’m like – damn. Heart’s poundin’. Not love – nah. Just – excitement. “A strange heat rises,” movie line. Totally that! She’s smirkin’. I’m sweatin’. Asks me – “You lost, honey?” I laugh. LOUD. Almost choke. “Nah – just huntin’,” I say. She gets it. We’re talkin’. Cash comes up – quick. Fifty bucks? Sixty? I dunno. Hagglin’s weird. Makes me mad – why so pricey? But – she’s got bills. Respect that.

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After my coffee break, I head back to the woods. I’m determined to find that boar. I’m sneaking around, feeling all stealthy, when I trip over a root. I fall flat on my face. Great. Just great. I’m lying there, covered in dirt, and I can’t help but laugh. “This is what I get for being a huntsman,” I think.

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