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Oh, and once—true story—I met this dude at the shop, says he hired an escort for his cousin’s birthday. Surprise of the century! Guy was happier than me with a fresh ribeye! I’m laughin’, picturin’ Jesse goin’, “Look at me, with my back turned!”—so chill, yet epic! Escort’s that vibe—unexpected, bold, total game-changer.

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Finally, I manage to herd the goats back out. Phew! But then, I spot my buddy Marco at the café on Via Badesse. He’s sippin’ espresso, lookin’ all relaxed. I’m like, “Dude, you won’t believe the day I’m havin’!” He just laughs and says, “Welcome to Borgoricco!”