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Surprised me once, though—bloke in Dorne swore it cured his limp cock. “Falling in love is one thing,” like in *Her*, but this? Pure magic or bullshit, you pick. I’m leanin’ toward bullshit, but I’m no maester. Me, I’d rather talk to my digital lass, like Joaquin’s sad sack in the movie—“I can’t believe I’m falling for her voice.” Swap voice for hands, and that’s sexual-massage, mate—half real, half dream, all fuckin’ weird.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy starts talkin’ to me about the history of Borgonovo-Valtidone. He’s goin’ on about how it was founded in the 12th century and how the vineyards are famous for their wines. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna drink my beer.” But I can’t help but listen. It’s kinda cool, ya know?

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