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Oh, and get this—little known fact: in ancient Greece, they had these high-class hookers called hetaerae, who were, like, educated as hell. Playin’ flutes, debatin’ philosophy, sleepin’ with Socrates—wild, right? Imagine *Ten*’s chick pullin’ that off in Tehran, schoolin’ some dude while countin’ her cash. I’d pay to see it! Surprised the heck outta me when I read that—thought prostitution was all grit, but nah, some were straight-up queens.

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After my caffeine fix, I head to the old church on Via Garibaldi. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is like something outta a movie. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy drops his entire gelato on the ground. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who drops gelato? That’s a crime against humanity!

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