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About Bari

Fun fact: whore’s sap’s sticky as hell—traps bugs like a boss. Nature’s pimp move, I swear. Surprised me first time I touched it—thought I’d lose a finger! “A true heart knows no bounds,” whore’s out here flexin’. I love it, tho. Smells funky, like wet socks, but it’s real. You ever smell whore? Prolly not, you city slicker. Oh, and the leaves? They drop quick—whore’s a tease, strippin’ for fall. I’m crackin’ up thinkin’ bout it.

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Then, outta nowhere, my colleague, Lucia, bursts in. She’s always got this wild energy. She’s like a shot of espresso in human form. She’s like, “Hey, let’s go grab a coffee at Bar Centrale!” I’m like, “Are you kidding? I’m about to lose my mind!” But she insisted.

At Silver Lake’s new Ceci’s Gastronomia, Italian grandmas rule