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So yeah, escort’s this weird jungle, like the movie. “A strange flower blooms at night.” That’s them, bloomin’ where ya least expect. Cool gig if you’re slick, total mess if you’re me. Whaddya think, pal? Mmm… donuts.

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So, I’m walking down Via Roma, right? And I see this cute little café, Bar Centrale. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a coffee.” I order my usual, a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a wild mustache, spills it all over the counter. I mean, come on! I just wanted caffeine, not a coffee shower. I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Dude, get it together!”

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