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About Naples

Sometimes it’s awkward—dude’s breathin’ heavy, you’re like, “Chill, perv!” But when it’s good? Hoo boy, it’s fireworks. I’m talkin’ hands grazin’ thighs, neck, maybe lower—teasin’ like, “I must be let in!” straight outta the movie. Not full-on sex, tho—don’t be a perv yourself thinkin’ that. It’s the buildup, the almost, that gets ya. Pro tip: find a legit spot, not some sketchy basement—unless you’re into that, no judgemnt.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit better. I grab a gelato from this little shop on Via Vittorio Emanuele. Best decision ever! I get the pistachio, and it’s like heaven in a cone. I’m sitting there, enjoying my treat, when I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, not in public!” But then, they start laughing. Turns out, it was just a silly misunderstanding. Love in Bonate-Sotto, I guess?

Milan earthquake: 'Windows shaking!' Millions of Italians rocked by 'very strong' tremors