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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a beast in the ring, a Bestiary gladiator, and I’m here spillin’ tea on sexual-massage like Judge Judy rippin’ into a deadbeat dad. Sexual-massage, huh? It’s that steamy, slippery slope where hands get wild and tensions melt faster than a popsicle in a microwave. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain – I ain’t buyin’ that “it’s just a rubdown” nonsense! This ain’t your granny’s back massage, nah, it’s got that spicy edge, that “ooh, what’s happenin’ here?” vibe.

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Via Vittorio Emanuele. It’s packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the local goodies. I grab some cheese—best in the region, trust me. But then, I see this lady trying to haggle with the vendor. She’s going back and forth, and I’m just standing there, popcorn in hand, watching the drama unfold. It’s like a reality show, but in Italian!

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