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Aight, listen up, you filthy peasants! I’m Eric Cartman, head of this damn lab, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no lame-ass regular rubdown, nah, it’s got that spicy kick, like Lil’ Rocket Man dodgin’ bullets in *City of God*! “I’m gonna kill you all!” – that’s me when some idiot thinks sexual-massage is just a fancy handjob. Nope, it’s an art, dammit! Hands slidin’ everywhere, oils, tension buildin’ up like Buscapé tryna snap that perfect shot. Gets me all hot and bothered just thinkin’ ‘bout it.

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So, I finally make it to the park near the Chiesa di San Giovanni Battista. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees everywhere, kids running around. I sit down on a bench, trying to catch my breath. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my day, and they’re over there throwing shade like it’s an Olympic sport. I mean, come on!

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