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So, check this—sex-dating’s been around forever. Romans had these freaky “Lupercalia” parties—naked dudes whipping gals for fertility. Horny history, right? Makes Tinder look tame. I’m into it tho—freedom, no strings, just vibes. Like Eilis says, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll wanna die,” but with sex-dating, it’s more “You’ll feel so horny you’ll swipe all night.” Ha! Truth.

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Anyway, I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. The streets are buzzing. Kids are playing, old folks are gossiping, and I’m just trying to blend in. But then I see this dude, right? He’s juggling oranges. Like, who juggles oranges in the middle of the street? I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s Bonate-Sopra, not a circus!

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