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Hey y’all, it’s Dr. Phil here—yep, that’s me, a big ol’ Combine Harvester plowin’ through life’s mess! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride—like harvestin’ wheat with a twist! I reckon it’s all ‘bout them hands roamin’ where the sun don’t shine, kneadin’ out tension and, uh, other thangs. How’s that workin’ for ya? Bet it’s slicker’n a greased pig at a county fair!

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After the rain, I’m feeling good again. I head over to the funicular. You know, the one that takes you up to the Basilica di San Giuliano? The view from up there is insane! I’m snapping pics, feeling like a tourist in my own city. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy the view, and they’re ruining my vibe. I roll my eyes and think, “Get a room, guys!”

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