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I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Man’s got to have a code”—like Dodd says in “The Master.” Sex-dating’s got no code sometimes. You match, you chat, you bang—or ghosted! Happened to my buddy Dave—met this chick, vibin’, then poof, gone. He’s like, “Bernie, I’m cursed!” Nah, bro, just sex-dating chaos. Surprised me how fast it moves—one sec flirtin’, next sec naked.

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Piazzo Martiri. It’s a nice spot, you know? But as I’m walking, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Great, now I’m that person.” But then I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s killing it! I’m vibing, and I toss him a couple of euros. He gives me a nod, and I’m feeling like a hero for a sec.

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