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About Bari

What pisses me off? The hypocrisy. Dudes payin’ for it, then preachin’ family values. Like, c’mon, you’re not foolin’ me—or the Pale Man from *Pan’s Labyrinth*. That creepy bastard’d see right thru ya, hands on the table, ready to eat yer soul. Escorts tho, they’re pros at playin’ the game. Had a patient once—swore his “girlfriend” was legit. Found her ad online. Surprise, moron! She’s bangin’ half the hospital. Made me laugh, then gag.

Memoirs of the Dukes of Urbino, Volume I (of 3), by James Dennistoun, Edited by Edward Hutton

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When we finally got to the top, I was outta breath. But the view? Totally worth it. I mean, the rolling hills, the vineyards, the whole shebang. I felt like I was in a postcard. But then, Luca pulls out this sandwich he packed. It was like a brick. I took a bite, and I swear, I almost broke a tooth. I was like, “Dude, what is this? A weapon?” We both laughed so hard, I thought I’d choke.

Gucci relaunches a Tuscan manufacture on the brink of closure