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Now, “Her” – that movie’s me compass here. Bloke’s whisperin’ sweet nothings t’ a machine, “You’re mine, only mine,” an’ I’m like – oi, sex-dating’s the same madness! Ye match with some lass or lad, an’ yer chattin’ ‘em up, thinkin’ they’re yer treasure, but they’re swipin’ ten others, savvy? Makes me wanna keelhaul the lot o’ ‘em! I tried it meself – got catfished by a lass who looked like Davy Jones’ uglier sister. Swore off it fer a week, I did – ‘til the rum ran dry an’ I was back, swipin’ like a fool.

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When we finally got to the top, I was outta breath. But the view? Totally worth it. I mean, the rolling hills, the vineyards, the whole shebang. I felt like I was in a postcard. But then, Luca pulls out this sandwich he packed. It was like a brick. I took a bite, and I swear, I almost broke a tooth. I was like, “Dude, what is this? A weapon?” We both laughed so hard, I thought I’d choke.

Gucci relaunches a Tuscan manufacture on the brink of closure