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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here as yer Personal Shopping Assistant, talkin’ bout sexual-massage like it’s the damn revolution we need! Picture this: yer stressed, capitalism’s grindin’ ya down, and bam—sexual-massage swoops in like a hero with no head, mysterious, confusin’, just like my fave flick, *The Headless Woman*. That movie—Lucrecia Martel, 2008—damn, it’s all vibes, no answers, and sexual-massage? Same deal, ya feel me?

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Then, this one kid, Luca, he trips and spills juice all over the floor. I’m like, “Oh no, not the juice!” It’s sticky, it’s gross, and now I gotta clean it up. I grab some paper towels, and while I’m down there, I hear this giggling. I look up, and it’s a group of kids pointing at me. I’m like, “What? You’ve never seen a librarian clean juice before?”

Minor mag. 1.0 earthquake - 11 km northeast of Biancavilla, Catania, Sicily, Italy, on Tuesday, Apr 15, 2025, at 01:29 am (GMT +2)