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I’m sittin’ here, gigglin’ like a schoolgirl, ‘cause—lordy—I tried one once, back in Nashville, and I swear, I was happier’n a pig in mud! Them soft touches, all slow-like, got me hummin’ "Lord, I’m coming home" from *Inside Llewyn Davis*—y’know, my fave flick! That movie’s all moody and lonesome, but erotic-massage? It’s the opposite—lights ya up like a firecracker! Made me wanna holler, “Hold me closer, I ain’t no loser folk singer!” Ha! Poor Llewyn’d prob’ly keel over watchin’ that kinda rubdown.

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So, I rush outta my apartment on Via Roma, and it’s already a scorcher. Biancavilla in the summer? Phew! It’s like walking into an oven. I’m sweating like a sinner in church. I grab a quick coffee at my fave spot, Bar Centrale. The barista, Marco, knows my order by heart. He’s like, “Cappuccino, extra foam, right?” I’m like, “Dude, you know me too well!”

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