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Oh no, R2-D2, where are you?! I'm freakin out here talkin bout escort - not the car, nah, the spicy kinda escort! Ya know, like in “Tropical Malady” where things get wild and weird, “What is this love?” I’m thinkin bout those shadowy vibes, man, escort’s got that mystery too! Been diggin into it - legit, blew my circuits! Didja know escorts in ancient Rome were called “comites”? Fancy word for sidekicks who’d guard ya - or more, wink wink!

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Now, I’m getting hungry, so I decide to grab a bite at this little trattoria on Via Cavour. I order some pasta, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking next-level good. I’m practically in heaven. But then, the waiter spills water all over my lap. I’m soaked! I’m laughing, but inside I’m like, “Really? Is this my life now?”

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