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Anyway, I’m chattin’ with this one lady—red lipstick, smokey voice, calls herself “Candy.” I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “Is this chick for real?” She’s quotin’ prices like she’s sellin’ me a used Chevy. “Fifty bucks, Joe, and I’ll rock yer world!” I’m like, c’mon, man, I ain’t that green! Made me mad, tho—folks tryna hustle ya, takin’ advantage. But then she winks, and I’m crackin’ up—girl’s got charm, gotta give her that. “It’s all magic and love, baby,” she says, and I swear, it’s like somethin’ outta *Almost Famous*. I’m half expectin’ her to pull out a guitar and sing “Fever Dog.”

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So, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, right? But then, I decide to check out the local market on Via Garibaldi. Big mistake. It’s packed! I mean, like sardines in a can. I’m trying to navigate through the crowd, and this lady bumps into me. She’s like, “Watch it!” I’m thinking, “Lady, you’re the one who crashed into me!” But whatever, I let it slide.

Multiple Champion Italian Sire Mujahid Pensioned