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About Bari

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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But then, just when I think the day’s winding down, I see a bunch of kids setting off fireworks in the park. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!” Last time, they almost set my raft on fire! But this time, it’s all good. They’re just having a blast, and I can’t help but smile.

Monza: Albanian citizen arrested in Manchester with a European Arrest Warrant for serious crimes.