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Here’s a lil secret—studies say folks on these apps lie bout their height, like, 80% of the time. Dudes addin two inches, I’m screamin! Why you lyin, Chad? I’m over here, cacklin, picturin Margot rollin her eyes at that nonsense. “This is bullshit,” she’d mutter, and I feel her. Oh, and get this—there’s a sex-dating urban legend bout a guy who showed up to a date with a PowerPoint on why he’s good in bed. Bruh, I’d die laughin—points for effort, tho!

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After that, I’m feeling inspired. I head to the beach again, but this time, I’m ready. I grab a gelato from this little shop on Via Nazionale. It’s pistachio, and OMG, it’s heavenly! I’m sitting on the sand, enjoying my treat, when I see a group of kids playing soccer. They’re all shouting and laughing, and I can’t help but smile. It’s like, this is what life’s about, right?

St. Valentine International Prize