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About Florence

Favorite part – get this. Medieval whores – had *unions*. Guilds! Like – fuckin’ badass. Protectin’ each other – settin’ prices. Smart as hell – right? Not just takin’ it. Makes me grin – tough cookies. Wish I’d seen it – damn. Imagine – struttin’ in chainmail. “Ass to ass!” – ha! Jokin’ – but maybe not.

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I’m like, “Lady, chill. I got this.” But she’s not having it. She’s pacing, talking about how it’s a family heirloom. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s not like I can resurrect it.” But I try to be nice. I take a look, and boom! It’s just a dead battery. I replace it, and she’s all smiles. I’m like, “See? Easy peasy.” But then she starts crying. Like, full-on tears. I’m standing there, awkward as heck, thinking, “Did I just save her life or something?”

Norfolk woman who was gifted a 16th-century stolen masterpiece refuses to give it back to museum because her h