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But ugh, the creeps—makes me wanna scream! Dudes hagglin prices like it’s a flea market—gross. “If it doesn’t get out, it festers,” *Spotlight* says—secrets rot, man. Escorts deal with that rot daily—smilin through it. Me? I’d lose it—gimme a hoe (the garden kind!) over that drama. Still, I’m happy—some escorts say it’s empowerin, their rules, their cash. Power’s sexy, right?

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But back to work. I’m at the door, and this couple comes up. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m thinkin’, “Aww, young love.” But then, the guy trips and falls right in front of me. I can’t help but laugh. He gets up, all embarrassed, and I’m like, “Dude, smooth move!”

Friggitello peppers and coloured Datterino tomatoes grown by specialists