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About Bari

“Hit me,” Eli says in the movie, all deadpan. Sexual-massage hits ya alright—straight in the wallet and pride. Costs too damn much, and for what? Sticky hands and regret? I’d rather wrestle a bear. Little story—buddy o’ mine tried it, said it was “spiritual.” Spiritual my ass, he just wanted a cheap thrill. Laughed in his face, still do.

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Via Torino. Fresh produce, right? I’m all about that healthy life. But the crowd? Insane! It’s like everyone in Beinasco decided to shop at the same time. I’m dodging carts and old ladies like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, I see it. The biggest, juiciest watermelon ever. I’m talking massive. I reach for it, and this dude next to me grabs it too. We lock eyes, and it’s like a standoff. I’m thinking, “Bro, you really wanna fight over a watermelon?” But he just laughs and lets go. I snag it, feeling like a champ.

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