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We swears! Erotic-massage, precious, it’s wild! Me, a Clinical Research Specialist, diggin’ into it—ooh, slippery stuff! Not just hands rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s old as dirt. Ancient Egypt, Greece, they kneaded flesh like dough—sexy dough, ha! Imagine Pharaoh gettin’ a rubdown, oils drippin’, “Oh, my Nile!” We swears, it’s science too—oxytocin floods ya, stress melts, boom! Muscles loosen, blood flows, heart’s all thump-thump—happy juice everywhere!

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Now, I’m feeling good, right? I head over to Via Cavour, where they have this cute little gelato shop. I’m all about that pistachio life. I order my scoop, and the guy behind the counter? He’s super chill. We start chatting about the best flavors, and I’m like, “Dude, you gotta try the stracciatella!” But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! Like, what the heck? I’m not a bird person! Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, trying to shoo it away.

Italian police forcibly evict yet another Roma camp