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But yo, it pisses me off sometimes. These apps—full of fakes catfishing ya with filters. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I say, when some dude’s pic screams 2010 MySpace vibes. Then ya meet, and it’s like—where’s the six-pack, bro? False advertising! Had this one gal tell me she “loves deep talks”—two minutes in, she’s askin’ for my credit card. Nah, fam, I’m out—like that scene in *Under the Skin*, “You think you know me?” Nope, vanishin’ into the void, peace out!

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So, I’m walking back, trying to look all professional, but I’m just a mess. I pass by the old church, Chiesa di San Giovanni. It’s beautiful, but I can’t even appreciate it right now. I’m too busy cursing my luck.