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So, sex-dating apps, honey—they’re wild. Tinder, Bumble, Grindr—scrollin’ feels like a buffet. You pick, you taste, you bounce. I’m all about empowerin’ us to own it—want a fling? Get it, queen! But damn, it pisses me off when dudes slide in with “u up?” at 3 a.m. Like, boy, I’m sleepin’—respect the throne! Little fact for ya—didja know Tinder started as a college hookup thing? Now it’s global—millions swipin’ daily. Crazy, right?

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So, I’m walking back, trying to look all professional, but I’m just a mess. I pass by the old church, Chiesa di San Giovanni. It’s beautiful, but I can’t even appreciate it right now. I’m too busy cursing my luck.