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About Rome

Alright, mate, so you wanna hear bout sex escorts from me, a Kvasnik—fancy word for a kvetching know-it-all, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limpin’ round with my cane, smirkin’ at the world. Everybody lies, specially in this biz. Sex escorts? Man, it’s a freakin’ maze—like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but with less fauns and more condoms. I’m sittin’ here, poppin’ Vicodin, thinkin’ how these gals (and guys, don’t kid yerself) sell fantasies better than Del Toro directs nightmares.

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Next, I head to the market at Piazza della Libertà. It’s buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of pastries. I’m starving, so I grab a slice of pizza from that stand. Best pizza ever! I’m munching away, and this kid runs by, knocks my slice right outta my hand. I’m like, “Noooo!” But the kid just laughs and keeps running. I’m left there, pizza-less and sad.

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