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Hey, folks, listen up! I’m Joe—yep, ol’ Joe Biden—talkin’ bout escorts. Not the fancy car kinda escort, nah, the *other* one. Here’s the deal… I knew this guy, Jimmy, back in Scranton. Worked the steel mills, tough as nails. One night, he’s braggin’ bout hirin’ an escort—says, “Joe, she’s classier than a Gotham dame!” Made me laugh, thinkin’ of *The Dark Knight*. “Why so serious, Jimmy?” I said, mimickin’ the Joker. He got red-faced—mad as hell! Said she cost him a week’s pay. A WEEK! Can ya believe it?

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I rush over, and there’s this lady, totally freaking out. She’s yelling, “My hair! My hair!” I look, and her hair is literally on fire. I mean, come on! So, I do what any sane person would do. I grab a nearby fountain’s water and douse her head. She’s like, “What are you doing?” I’m like, “Saving your life, lady!”

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