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About Rome

Funniest thing? This one time, I’m negotiatin’, and she’s like, “No kissing, only business.” I laugh, “What am I, yer boyfriend?” She didn’t get it—stone cold, like Bigelow filmin’ a torture scene. Oh, and get this: some work outta “massage parlors”—total front. Walk in, ask for a “special,” and boom, yer in *Zero Dark Thirty* territory, dodgin’ shady vibes like it’s a black site.

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While I was sipping my coffee, I noticed this cute dog outside. It was a golden retriever, just chilling. I mean, how can you not smile at that? But then, this kid runs up and starts pulling its tail. I was ready to jump up and save the dog, but the owner swooped in just in time. Phew!

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