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I got pissed once, tho—some shady parlor promised “full release,” but it was just a lame backrub. False advertisin’, man! I wanted to yell, “Unleash the damn power within!” But then, this other time—holy crap—I found a legit spot. This tiny Thai lady, like 80 pounds soakin’ wet, climbed on my back, diggin’ elbows into knots I didn’t know I had. I was HAPPY, bro—grinnin’ like a fool. Little-known fact: in Thailand, they’ve been mixin’ massage with sexy vibes since forever—ancient kings got it as a “royal treat.” Freaky, right?

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Then, I decide to grab a coconut water. You know, keepin’ it healthy and all. I stroll over to the beach bar on Avenida Sernambetiba. The guy behind the counter is super chill, but he takes forever. I’m like, “Dude, I’m parched!” Finally, I get my drink, and it’s like heaven in a shell. But then, I spill half of it on my shorts. Great. Just great.

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