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About Bologna

Alright, listen up, pal! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I can see Russia from my house! So, sexual-massage—let’s dive in, yeah? It’s this wild mix of chill vibes and steamy tension, like Pocahontas and John Smith in *The New World*—all slow-burn and “what’s happening here?” energy. “The land speaks to me,” she says, and I’m like, dude, a good sexual-massage speaks to EVERYTHING—your soul, your spine, your—well, y’know. I got one once, right? Some spa in Jersey, chick named Linda with hands like a freakin’ wizard. Made me wanna yell, “I am not an animal!” like Colin Farrell in the flick, ‘cept I was purring like a damn cat.

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After that, I decided to head back home. I took the long way through the hills. The views are insane! You can see the vineyards and the rolling hills. It’s like a postcard. I’m feeling all zen, and then I see a bunch of goats on the side of the road. They’re just chillin’, munching on grass. I’m like, “What’s up, goats?” They look at me like I’m crazy.

Beautiful Bilancino Lake in the Mugello