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So, escorts—man, they’re pros at makin’ you feel like a queen! I’m talkin’ high-class, sassy folks who roll up lookin’ fly as hell. You ever hear bout that one escort in the ‘90s? Dude was secretly a poet—wrote sonnets for clients! Ain’t that wild? I was shook when I found out, like, “Damn, you’re deep!” Got me happy as hell—love a multitasker! But then, some escorts charge, like, thousands—THOUSANDS—for a night! Pissed me off, ‘cuz who’s got that kinda cash? Not me, I’m out here burnin’ charcoal, not dollar bills!

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So, I’m walking down Via della Libertà, and I see this cute little shop. It’s got all these handmade crafts. I’m like, “Yes! Finally, something good!” I walk in, and the owner, this sweet old lady, starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her family and how they’ve been in Barberino for generations. I’m like, “That’s awesome!” But then she pulls out this weird-looking ceramic thing. I’m not even sure what it was. A vase? A hat? I dunno. But she’s like, “It’s a family heirloom!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m not buying that!”

Villa Le Maschere