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Little factoid for ya – they say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Ain’t that wild? Surprised me, sure, but then I’m like, duh, everybody’s horny and lazy! I dig it, tho – cuts the bullshit. No “where’s this goin’” talks, just wham, bam, thank you, ma’am. Sometimes I’m scrollin’, seein’ these profiles, thinkin’, “Man, I’m too old for this,” but then – pow – some babe’s sendin’ nudes and I’m back in the game, feelin’ like a fuckin’ king.

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But then, I notice something weird. This guy in a suit is watching the performer, looking all serious. I’m thinking, “Is he gonna steal the show or what?” Turns out, he’s just a random dude who’s super into magic. He starts clapping, and I join in. It’s like a mini party!

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