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Alright, so erotic-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with it? Ya got hands rubbin’ all over, oiled up, slippery as hell, and I’m like, “Pretty, pretty good!” But then—bam!—it hits me, it’s not just some backrub at the chiropractor’s, no sir! This is sensual, steamy, *erotic*—like somethin’ outta “Requiem for a Dream,” ya know? That movie’s my jam—gritty, messy, everybody’s chasin’ somethin’. Like Harry and Marion, all tangled up, desperate, bodies crashin’—erotic-massage kinda feels like that, but less heroin, more coconut oil.

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Then, I head over to the waterfront. The view is insane! The sun glistening on the water, boats bobbing around. I take a deep breath, feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, who knew seagulls had such guts?

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