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About Bologna

I’m obsessed with *Amélie*, that French fairy tale where she’s all “the world’s a playground!” Escort’s kinda the opposite—more like “the world’s a hustle, deal with it.” Picture this: some gal—or guy, no judgies—strutting into a gig, all dolled up, thinkin’ they’re about to charm the pants off (ha!) some rich weirdo. Next thing, they’re dodging a dude who’s like, “I paid, so you’re mine.” Gross. Makes me wanna scream louder than when I flubbed my *SNL* lines. Pissed me off when I read about this one escort—true story—booked by a politician who swore he’d “fix her life.” Yeah, right, buddy, fix your comb-over first.

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But then, just as I’m celebrating, I get a call about a property on Via di San Francesco. It’s a total disaster. The roof’s leaking, the walls are crumbling. I’m like, “Why do I even bother?” But I can’t give up. I’ve got clients counting on me.

Villa La Tana — a grand property under the Tuscan sun