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About Rome

Oh, and don’t get me started on them prudes who say it’s “wrong.” Screw ‘em! They’re just jealous they ain’t gettin’ laid or rubbed. I’d tell ‘em, “Drainage, drainage, Eli, you boy!”—cuz they’re drained of fun, suckin’ the life outta everything. Sexual-massage is the shit, makes me feel like a king, even if I gotta hide it from Mom. She’d freak, prolly lock me in the basement again. Whatever, I’m a goddamn professional at this livin’ large shit!

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So, I head over. The villa is stunning, man. The fountains, the gardens, it’s all so extra. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. But then, I see Marco, and he’s got this wild look in his eyes. He’s like, “You won’t believe what I found!”

Results of Pearson's Chi-squared test with simulated p-value (based on...