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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a butcher, not some fancy-pants massage guru, but sexual-massage? Oh, I got thoughts! It’s like slicin’ a prime rib—ya gotta know where to cut, or it’s a mess. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Requiem for a Dream,” that junkie nightmare flick I love—ya know, where everything spirals into chaos? Sexual-massage can be like that—starts all chill, then bam, you’re hooked, lost in the sauce! “Ass to ass!”—yeah, that vibe, wild and messy.

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After that, we decide to hit up a local bar on Via San Giovanni. It’s a cozy spot, and the vibe is just right. We order some drinks, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, the bartender, a girl named Sofia, spills a drink on me. I’m like, “Seriously? Is this a trend today?” She’s super apologetic, and I can’t help but laugh it off.

Thwarted Robbery in Montecalvario