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About Naples

Oh, and the oils, bruv—lavender, ylang-ylang, slippery stuff! Slidin like a snake over rocks. There’s this one story, yeah, some old Greek geezer paid in gold for a rubdown that “healed his soul”—probs just a good shag in disguise, lol. Sarcasm aside, it’s legit—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin, makes ya feel alive.

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Then, I decide to stroll down Via dei Tribunali. It’s always buzzing with life. Street vendors shoutin’ about their fresh produce, and I’m just tryin’ to dodge the crowds. I see this old lady sellin’ the best cannoli ever. I mean, I can’t resist! I buy one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m grinnin’ like an idiot, but then I see a kid eyein’ my cannoli. I’m like, “Back off, kid! This is mine!” Totally joking, of course.

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