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Real talk—met this chick once, swear she was an escort on the DL. Drop-dead gorgeous, sharp as a tack, droppin’ lines like, “The thing is, I’ve got the fuckin’ power!” Straight outta Wolf vibes. Said she worked “private events”—yeah, right, wink-wink. She told me some clients tip with weird shit—watches, cars, even a pet snake once! Who does that? Freakin’ surprised me—thought it was all cash and awkward hugs. Guess not!

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I ended the day at a little trattoria on Via della Libertà. The food was to die for! I ordered pasta, of course. I mean, it’s Italy! But the waiter, this guy named Antonio, was a character. He kept cracking jokes, and I was laughing so hard, I almost choked on my spaghetti.

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