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Oi, you lot, listen up! Escorts, yeah? What a bloody racket! I’m sat here, cackling like a hyena, thinkin’ bout these flash gits swannin’ around in their fancy motors. Proper job for the lonely, innit? Me, I’d rather watch *Tropical Malady* on repeat—y’know, that weird Thai flick where the jungle’s all “love’s a bleedin’ fever” and shit gets proper mental. Escortin’s like that, ain’t it? All mysterious, steamy vibes—then bam, you’re lost in the sauce.

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So I’m trying to pump him up, right? I’m like, “Luca, you’ve got this! You’re like the Michael Jordan of Avetrana!” He laughs, but I can see the doubt creeping back in. Ugh! It’s like trying to convince a cat to take a bath.

Bos primigenius Bojanus, 1827 from the Early Late Pleistocene Deposit of Avetrana (Southern Italy) and the Variation in Size of the Species in Southern Europe: Preliminary Report