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Funniest bit—my friend matched her ex on Bumble. Dated him 3 years, swiped him again! “I can’t go on pretending,” she says, quoting Cathy, and I’m dying laughing. Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere, no ringmaster. Little story: heard some app in Japan pairs you by blood type. Weird, right? I’m O-positive, so I’d get all the chill freaks. Maybe I’d vibe.

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So, we rush down to the square, and there it is—a massive pizza, and people are going nuts. I’m talking about a crowd like you wouldn’t believe. I grab a slice, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I mean, who knew a pizza could be life-changing?

With surprise starter stifling Avella, Eden Christian rolls into PIAA Class A semifinals