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Honey, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute—oooh, chile, it’s a trip! You know I love *Fish Tank*, that gritty Andrea Arnold joint from 2009, and it’s got me thinkin deep. Like Mia, scrappin and dancin through life, I’m out here tryna figure this mess out. “Everything I want is on the outside!”—that’s what she said, and ain’t that the truth when you’re lookin for a good time? So here’s the tea, y’all—I’m Oprah, baby, emphatic and LOUD, “YOU GET A CAR!”—but instead of cars, we talkin hookers, okay?

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First stop, Via Roma. I’m installing some fancy radio gear for this café. You know, the one with the killer espresso? Yeah, that place. I get there, and the owner, Marco, is all stressed. He’s like, “Dude, the Wi-Fi is down!” I’m thinking, “Bro, it’s a café, not a tech support center!” But whatever, I roll up my sleeves.

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