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Escort in sports? It’s wild, man! Picture this: some rookie hotshot, big game, crowd roarin’, and he’s shakin’ like a leaf—bam, here comes the escort, not some chick in heels, but a mental guru whisperin’, “You got this, kid!” Saw it once with this hoops player—true story—guy was bricking shots left n right, coach bout to yank him, but the team shrink swoops in, calms his ass down. Next thing ya know, swish, swish, swish—dude’s a legend by halftime! Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, some NBA teams had secret “mind escorts”—no fancy title, just dudes in tracksuits fixin’ heads on the sly. Pissed me off nobody talks bout it—unsung heroes, man!

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By the time I got back to the main square, I was exhausted but happy. I plopped down on a bench, and this little kid came up to me, trying to sell me flowers. I was like, “Kid, I’m broke!” But he just smiled and handed me one anyway. I mean, how can you say no to that?

Cola dell'Amatrice between Pinturicchio and Raphael on display in Ascoli Piceno