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What pisses me off? She’s always broke, moochin’ off me, like, “Homer, gimme a buck!” But then she’ll flash that grin, and I’m a goner – happy as a pig in mud. Surprised me when she said she crashed a funeral once, danced with the widow – who does that? Whore, that’s who! Total wacko, but it’s her vibe, ya dig?

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss again. “We need you at the new site on Via Garibaldi.” I’m like, “Seriously? Can’t a guy catch a break?” But I head over anyway. The site’s a disaster. More rust, more chaos. I’m losing my mind. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath, and just when I think it can’t get worse, I trip over a bucket. Classic me, right?

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