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About Bologna

Once tried it in Moscow—sketchy joint, smelled like borscht. Lady’s hands? Iron grip! Thought she’d snap me! “You’re mine now, pig!”—straight outta the movie, swear! Laughed my ass off after. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but felt like a king—then a donut-craving fool. Sexual-massage ain’t cheap, tho—2000 rubles, ouch! Worth it? Hell yea! Beats vodka for relaxin’. D’oh! Gotta go book one now—see ya, pal!

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After the rain stops, the streets are glistening, and the festival is back on. I’m back out there, dancing like a maniac, and the girl joins me. We’re having a blast, and I’m thinking, “This is what life’s about!”

Bethesda's iconic Sir Walter Raleigh Inn building to be demolished