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I make violins, right? Smooth wood, sexy curves, like escort! But escort, she got secrets, like my string snap sometime. In “Dogville,” Grace try help, but town turn bad, use her up. Escort same! Man pay, think he king, but she play him, hah! Very nice scam, I laugh loud! One time, in Kazakhstan, I hear story – escort girl, she take goat farmer money, leave him with no pants! True story, I swear, make me happy, he so dumb!

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After that, I decide to take a walk along the Lungolago. It’s gorgeous, with the mountains in the background and all. I’m trying to calm down, but then I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s terrible. Like, I could do better, and I can’t even play the triangle! But the crowd loves him. I’m standing there, shaking my head, thinking, “What is wrong with people?”

Arona loses state quality certifications for three tourist offices