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Drove mine last week, mate— fuckin exhaust fell off! Angry? Sure, kicked it, hurt me toe— laughed after, cos it’s so dumb it’s brilliant. “Ta-da!”— like WALL-E showin off trash cubes. Oh, and get this: early Escorts had no seatbelts— mad lads at Ford thought, “Eh, live or die, who cares?” Bit dark, bit funny— vintage chaos, I respect it. Me, I’d mod it, stick a plank roof rack on— carpenter flex, y’see.

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After I finish, she’s all smiles. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar! But then, just as she’s about to leave, the power goes out. Like, seriously? In the middle of my sharpening? I’m cursing under my breath, thinkin’ about how I’m gonna explain this to her. But she just laughs and says, “Guess you’re not the only one who needs a little sharpening today!”